this is how i will be fired

one day, maybe not anytime soon, but one day for sure, someone's gonna give me the ol' "up and down", with their eyes settling happily on my chest while i'm asking them if they need help, and i will deck them in their smug fucking face. 

i understand that, as a decently attractive woman with a rather large rack, dudes are gonna check me out. it happens all the time. but i do appreciate some discretion, guys. just because i'm a lowly retail peon and i "can't do anything" about the situation, doesn't mean i don't notice when you fail to look me in the face and show me some respect. also doesn't mean i won't give you a major attitude and avoid you for the rest of the time yr in my store, or possibly even deck you in yr smug face if you do it on the wrong day. this job is okay, yeah... but it's just okay. i don't need it that badly.

oh, and also... to the mental patient who needed get rich or die trying oh so badly: don't go off on me because we don't have it. don't make my manager, who is busy, come and look for it for you because i couldn't find it. when i tell you the computer is not showing that any copies are available, don't lose yr temper with me and yell, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE IT!" prompting my manager to come over again to tell you the computer doesn't lie. dude, the CD's not that good. go download it or something... i'm sure fiddy don't need yr money.

recent picks for the stereo:

mogwai - come on die young

the jackson 5 - anthology

6/24/08, 2-9pm

pick for the stereo: guided by voices - human amusements at hourly rates


filing, filing filing. putting away cds, dvds, video games, could all make my brain melt and probably will in the future. this monotonous task made my noggin feel like pudding or cream of wheat by the end of my seven hour shift. seriously, that's all i did. and after the store closed, i had to take all the extras downstairs and continue to file for the next hour or so. awesome.

notably, i did sing journey at the top of my lungs, get hit on in a very smooth and non-offensive manner (which was a breath of fresh air compared to the 10,000 teenage boys staring at video games and also my breasts), and had some neighborhood weirdo follow me around talking about bob pollard. the worst of all was the mom with FIVE FUCKING CHILDREN, but all of the sudden it was my job to tell them to quit running in the store and climbing on the vinyl racks. while running, one kid tripped and fell; i laughed at him, certainly... like, that's what you get you little bastard. go home and play yr violent video games, just don't get in my way.

dear mamas:
keep an eye on yr kids in public, please.
love,
k.

my coworkers seem cool thus far though, an interesting bunch for sure. last night, one of them, after the mom and five kids left five minutes after the store was closed, says, "is the store clear? okay. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. that was building up all day."

time to smoke a cigarette and go back to work for the 3-9 shift today. fun!

the first post

to start: i am a twenty-something female who just started working at a semi-shitty local record store chain in northeast ohio. the job was procured in order to help me move from my hometown to another little town that is pretty much exactly like my neighborhood at home, except way bigger. the end is the begining is the end.

i've already had my share of interesting experiences on the clock, and from what my coworkers tell me, i'm bound to have many many more in store (apparently we're located directly between two group homes...? okay). i'm expecting drug addicts and dudes who LOOOOOVE metallica. soccer moms and their unruly children. neighborhood nuts with too much free time. all of which i hope to detail here. for that reason, and because the internets are so vast and open, all names will be changed, just in case anyone should happen to stumble upon this little blog.


this should be fun.